Tag Archives: depression

Haunted by a moment of excruciating embarrassment

Posted on June 14, 2022 by Susannah J. Bell

I have an issue with my buzzer. Everyone rings it. The postwoman who can’t get in. A delivery guy for someone else. Students at 3am who forgot their keys and are off their faces so just ring all the buzzers … Continue reading →

Posted in 2022: A Fresh Start, General, Life in Bloomsbury | Tagged bad temper, depression, embarrassment, london life, paranoia | Leave a comment

Microfiction

Posted on September 19, 2020 by Susannah J. Bell

My writing isn’t going well. If I had to blame anything, then I’m going to have to say it was the pandemic. I did try. I started an Exodus Sequence story quite early in lockdown but it was a mess … Continue reading →

Posted in On Writing | Tagged back to work, coronavirus, creative process, depression, drabble, Exodus Sequence, flash fiction, imagination, microfiction, pandemic, short writing, The Exodus Sequence, time to write, writer, writers, writers block, writers community, writers life, writers problems, writers tips, writing | Leave a comment

How to keep going when you want to lie down and die

Posted on July 19, 2020 by Susannah J. Bell

I approached an agent in the US recently, the first time I’ve ever done this. Perhaps, I thought wildly, my contemporary/portal fantasy novel will have greater appeal to the American public. As I’m not very good at pretending to be … Continue reading →

Posted in On Writing | Tagged badass, depression, despair, failing, finding an agent, health issues, imposter syndrome, literary agents, steamrollered, support, trying to get published, Tweets, writers, writers community, writers life, writing, writing community | Leave a comment

When the holiday runs out

Posted on February 17, 2020 by Susannah J. Bell

I recently took several weeks off work. It was bliss. It was heavenly. By the last ten days, I felt like myself again – for the first time in YEARS. I can’t remember when last I achieved that state of … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged bad job, Bad Monday, blue, Blue Monday, depressed, depression, finding yourself, full time writing, holiday, i want to write, Magic, pays the bills, soul-destroying job, waste of time, writers community, writers life, writing, writing community, writing is my life, writing not working | Leave a comment

The Shrinking Singularity that is my Local Library

Posted on January 25, 2017 by Susannah J. Bell

I haven’t been to my local library for years. I stopped going because I could never find anything to read. There were a few new books on display but never anything I actually wanted to read. The shelves themselves remained … Continue reading →

Posted in General | Tagged apathy, austerity, books, camden, depression, government cuts, holborn, holborn library, libraries, library, public library | Leave a comment

I am made from gossamer and the wind is howling

Posted on May 11, 2014 by Susannah J. Bell

I don’t think I’ve ever struggled to write anything as hard as “Experienced.” I even wondered if I had writer’s block or if I just too stressed to write or was perhaps even all written out. I thought I might be losing … Continue reading →

Posted in On Writing | Tagged depression, editing, Exodus Sequence, Experienced, fiction, Gomenzi, Io, main character, self-doubt, short story, V. Gomenzi, Woken, writer's block | Leave a comment

Confessions of a terrible writer

Posted on October 14, 2013 by Susannah J. Bell

I’m just a copy of an imitation (MM) There’s only one reason why anyone self-publishes: they’re too crap to be published in the Real World. You can fool yourself all you want but it’s the truth. That doesn’t mean you … Continue reading →

Posted in Getting Published | Tagged autumn, book cover, death, depression, e-books, e-reader, getting published, gun, KDP, kindle, marilyn manson, metal, novel, published, rain, self-publishing, short stories, suicide, Van Gogh, Van Gogh Syndrome, writing | Leave a comment

How to keep writing even if the world is exploding around you

Posted on July 17, 2013 by Susannah J. Bell

Is it possible to write when it’s 30C by eleven in the morning? In the centre of London? It’s not so much the heat (although, really, it IS the heat) as the noise which accompanies it. Every window in my … Continue reading →

Posted in On Writing | Tagged Atlantis, burning, creating, depression, Exodus Sequence, fire, heat, heatwave, helicopters, hot, London, noise, noise pollution, short story, summer, writing | 5 Comments

I’ve just popped back for my gun and then I’m going to shoot the fucking bitch behind the post office counter

Posted on July 12, 2012 by Susannah J. Bell

Hate every motherfucker that’s in your way (MM) All I wanted was something sticky. A bit of Sellotape. An address label. Anything. Usually the post office is quite obliging. Often I remember to take my own Sellotape. The problem … Continue reading →

Posted in Getting Published, On Writing | Tagged agent, agents, coffee, Costa, depression, getting published, marilyn manson, metal, sub-post office, submissions, ultra, unpublished, writing | 1 Comment

Fastest Rejection Ever

Posted on May 11, 2012 by Susannah J. Bell

Within 24 hours of emailing ULTRA to Marjacq, I got a rejection email/slip/letter…call it what you like, it was still shocking. Must have been an auto-response. All emails to their “subs” address just get the same rejection because they know … Continue reading →

Posted in Getting Published | Tagged agents, depression, rejection, ultra | 12 Comments