Book Review: Remix by Lexi R

This book is so bad I couldn’t be bothered to review it properly on Amazon.  It’s so lightweight it makes a feather look gravitationally challenged.  There is a place in the world for lightweight books, for thin plots, for paint-by-numbers characterisation – but I don’t want to read them.  This doesn’t mean I only want to read big heavyweight serious important literary works.  I like reading a bit of garbage as much as the next guy.  These days “lightweight” for me usually means my daughter’s “young adult” books which, half the time, are better than any adult fare in similar genres.  But I don’t want to read something that took the author two weeks to write (or feels like it, anyway) and hasn’t an ounce of passion.  What I hate most about this book is that it’s exactly the sort of thing to do well.  The author has no strong feelings, the characters are shallower than a wooden tea-stirrer from Starbucks, and THIS is exactly what people WANT to read – passionless, pointless and untouched by intelligence.  I think I mentioned before that I heard Lexi R being interviewed on Radio 4 and liked the sound of her, was instantly intrigued by the possibility of being published straight-to-Kindle and went off to do much investigating.  I even wrote to her, asking about income tax (I’ve never been self-employed and this area of tax scares me half to death….I’d rather be a  Rich Author Employing Accountants to do this kind of work for me…but that’s dreamland stuff).  She wrote back on the same day, a really helpful e-mail, full of advice and she seemed nice.  So I wish I could write a better book review, but I can’t.  This is rubbish.  Her second book, Remix, is marginally better, but in the long run, I can see why this stuff went straight to Kindle because frankly, I think publishers and agents are flooded with similar fare.  Just to give you an idea:  the heroine goes off to do a spot of burglary to help the bloody stupid rock star (no, don’t ask, the plot isn’t worth mentioning.)  An exact description is given of the items she takes with her.  All the tools, the clothes etc etc.  Then we have the big finale (realism thy name is Sky 3), after which she puts on her “best make-up” and they all go off and have dinner at the expensivist hotel in London.  What the fuck!!!!  When did she pack her best make-up??!  Who takes their mascara and lipstick to commit burglary?

And there lies my dilemma:  why should Lexi R care?  She hasn’t written a serious book and she’s not serious about it.  Writing a book and publishing it herself is probably just FUN for her.  It’s FUN to write.  FUN to get published.  It’s all such bloody fucking fun.  Well, fuck, to me it’s not.  There’s nothing FUN about what I write.  Everybody is deadly serious and have serious sex and get seriously killed, often more than once (just to show how serious I am about immortality.)

And that’s probably why I sit out here in the wilderness, unread, unpublished, unwanted.  I even take my misery seriously.

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About susannahjbell

I am a writer of science fiction and other strange and surreal works. I mostly write novels and the occasional novelette. My published works include A Doorway into Ultra, the Fleet Quintet and the Exodus Sequence. I live in London in an attic flat but really want to live in a tree. I wanted to be an astrophysicist but would settle for an alien abduction. I write because I don’t know what to read.
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